UBC Motherhood - Desire to have Children

In the last episode I was talking about our lengthy decision-making process to become parents. 

Guess what. 

We got married. 

I didn't get pregnant after a year. I didn't get pregnant after two years. And I didn't get pregnant after three years.

Remember I said my biological clock was ticking?

Well, the ticking became really loud, and my confidence of ever becoming a Mom began to fade.

Of course we had not been sitting around idly during the three years. We went through a series of examinations. Hormone levels, sperm quality, patency of the fallopian tubes, you name it.

Everything was looking good on paper. 

After three failed insemination procedures we had to consider IVF.

This was sort of where my willingness for physical intervention ended.

It was bad enough that I had to take hormones in tablet form as well as injections into my abdomen to bring several eggs to maturity and trigger ovulation prior to the insemination. 

Now on top I was going to undergo egg retrieval and embryo transfer, both under anesthesia? 

Looking a the costs per cycle was a shock, too. 

So far with our double income we have afforded to spend extensive vacations twice a year. We basically would have to use this money for two IVF procedures instead.

I talked to a friend about it without knowing that she was sort of in the same boat, only they already had a six year old. I had no idea they had been trying for a second kid for years. She told me she recently started seeing a lady who practiced TCM, Traditional Chinese Medicine. 

Once I began looking into it, I had new hope. Their approach sounded like finding and treating the root cause instead of suppressing symptoms or overriding natural processes.

"Show me your tongue" the lady said upon our first meeting.

Excuse me?

"I'm serious, I need to see your tongue. Most likely you suffer from iron deficiency, which I can tell by looking at your tongue."

Sure enough her claim turned out to be correct after a blood sample was taken by a regular doctor, so I received several infusions.

She was treating me with Acupuncture and Cranio Sacral Therapy. The latter felt heavenly by the way. She was "just holding my head", but it caused a feeling of relaxation and warmth, it was incredible. 

In spring of 2007 my friend sent me a postcard from Egypt. They were visiting the pyramids, and they had created a riddle. It was quite hard to solve, but the solution said "Baby on Board"!

Yay! Her baby girl was born 9/9/2007. When I went shopping for her, I felt determined and hopeful. It was going to be my turn soon!

Besides TMC, we followed another path. We had a geopathologist come to our house. 

A what?

I know. Bear with me here.

He brought some devices, one of which I thought was a combination of a dowsing rod and a Geiger counter, not that I knew how any of those actually looked like ;-) 

He planted some magnets outside our house. They were supposed to divert damaging electromagnetic radiation. He placed a cork mat underneath our bed.

Here's the to-do list he handed to us upon leaving:

• Ban all electronic devices from your bedroom.
• Switch off all electricity at night. Like really off. (Nothing is allowed to run on stand-by)
• Purchase new mattresses.
• Ideally remove the large mirror from the bedroom. Alternatively cover it with a blanket at night.
• And for Christ's sake, switch off that evil water descaling machine in the basement, it generates more electromagnetic radiation than all of your laptops, mobile phones and other devices combined!

So over the course of the next few weeks and months, not only did I continue my acupuncture sessions and iron IVs, but we had an electrician work on our current circuit, and we went mattress shopping. 

All while working just like before, trying to avoid business trips around my expected ovulation - always a challenge. 

We spent New Year's Eve 2007/08 at friends who had two young children. My predictive pee strip indicated we should get home and go for it, and that's what we did. How about conceiving a baby just as the new year is rung in?

I couldn't believe it when two weeks later I found out it didn't work out yet again. I thought this time was different. It felt different. It wasn't fair.

Have you guys ever heard of "implantation bleeding"???

I had not.

It got lighter soon after. A day or two later I felt weak and nauseous. 

Could it be???

False hope can be a bitch, and I tried to breathe in, breathe out and go about my day.

My appointment with the TCM lady came up. I didn't tell her anything. If she was really that perceptive, she was gonna notice.

If there's ever an opportunity to build in a cliffhanger, it's here, don't you think? Stay tuned!