The other day I was listening to a conversation of a couple of moms and was surprised about their kids' creativity, because frankly, I don't have a lot of experience in that field. Colin, apart from shoplifting at the lollipop store or dissembling some of Daddy's keyboard buttons, hasn't been doing much so far. Good boy! I guess you get the children you deserve, lucky us ;-)
Pets are Kids best friends
- 1.5 year old boy poured a glass of milk in the recently cleaned fish tank. He figured they were thirsty.
- 4 year old girl dressed up in a carnival cat costume. After a while her mom thought it might be time to go to the bathroom and wanted to help her out of the costume. "Oh, I went already", the girl said. The mom hadn't noticed anyone going to the bathroom and asked her about it. "Well, I didn't use THAT bathroom" the girl explained. "I am a cat now, see, so I used the litter box!"
- Feeding the dog with food they don't like themselves: broccoli, celery
- Older sibling painted younger kid with permanent marker or waterproof lipstick
- Young artists create wall art - I used to be one of them myself!
- Older sibling washed younger kid's hair with mayonnaise - then cut it. A hair stylist in the making!
- Other stuff to put in own or other's hair: vaseline, ointment, toothpaste
- As I am writing this I remember giving my doll "perms"
What happens in the bathroom doesn't necessarily stay in the bathroom
- "Mooooom? Do you know how much toothpaste is actually in the tube? "Oh, let me check, I think when it's full it's 4 oz." "No need to check, mommy! It's from the bathroom aaaall the way to your bedroom and back, that's how much!"
- Putting clothes and hand soap in the toilet bowl - doing laundry
- Sticking panty liners onto socks - for indoor skiing
- Lotioning themselves or little sister with Vicks VapoRub - or Nivea
Scissors - open Sesame!
- Cutting hair, clothes, curtains, towels - the possibilities are endless.
- The most creative was the 2 year old boy who managed to cut open mom's nursing cushion containing millions of statically loaded little globes. When mom wanted to vacuum the whole mess, the vacuum bag exploded - more nano balls all over the place!
Naughty in the Kitchen
- Stealing stuff from the fridge and pouring it
intoall around the glass and the floor - preferably sticky stuff.
- Snatching some chocolate and hiding the wrappers in the garden
- Creative eating: sausage with strawberry jam.
- One boy told his mom that the "special milk" tasted much better than regular. It was the breast milk she had pumped for the baby.
Phones and other gadgets
- Answering the phone and telling the person "I am home alone"
- Scratching TV screen with nail file - ouch
- Setting alarm at 3am
- Pressing buttons on dishwasher, oven,...
- Listening to the radio with earphones - just the headphones were plugged into the electrical outlet
- Playing with the remote control - in the sandbox
- You've got to love the 2.5 year old girl who climbed up mommy's chair while she went to the bathroom and purchased a fish tank by e-auction - well, it was just a mouse click!
Pour on the Floor
Again, endless possibilities: pouring flour, milk or baby powder, pricey anti-dandruff shampoo, paint, glue (yuck!)
Hide and Seek
Keys: the other day Daniela, a desperate mom, posted on a parental platform asking about other kids' hideouts for their parents' valuables. Over 100 other moms replied with creative spots like freezer, oven (real or toy), trash can, cereal box, tea pot, plant, shoe,...
My friend, mother of two year old twins at the time, spent time on the terrace while having something boiling on the stove when the son closed the sliding door. Click. They were separated, and she didn't have a house key, not even a cell phone with her! All the windows were closed, and - as it turned out - shatter proof. A neighbor let her use the phone so she could ask hubby to come home and rescue her.
One Facebook Mom, 9 months pregnant got locked in the basement by her son who threw the key onto a cupboard and couldn't get it back. While she was holding out in her cage, Mr Son was helping himself to a snack, enjoyed playing, took off his clothes and ran around naked in the garden - until, finally, 5 hours later, Dad came home from work.
SAVING THE BEST FOR LAST...
All the above were toddlers or preschoolers. Now brace yourself for what could happen to you once you've got a teenager on your hands who thinks you are not cool:
Trying to get rid of Dad Tabloid article on "Dad for free"
A 16 year old apprentice in Zurich thought his Dad was too embarrassing and decided to give him away. So he fixed up 40 flyers around town advertising his father's age, measurements and e-mail address: