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Thursday, January 23, 2014

The day I got my very first eye wrinkle cream

I was going to post "how to choose an eye wrinkle cream" and say "I have no clue how to decide which of the many, many products might work for me, and I need some guidance here - help me out, dear readers!"



Then I realized that if I am old enough to have eye wrinkles (and I do - they were there, on Tuesday morning, in the mirror, I was actually pretty shocked) then I should definitely pull up the big girl pants and go out there.

So today I went for a quick grocery run. I was almost done when I remembered the one thing I didn't put on the list. If I didn't write it down, I never said I needed it. Right? Also, technically it is not a grocery, so it has no business being on the list at all.

I have to mention that so far I have been pretty low maintenance where skin products are concerned. See?



I don't even own a night cream. So if I am going to start with the eyes, where will it end? There has been the stray grey hair, too. Otherwise I don't look a day over 29. If you disagree, be polite and keep it to yourself ;-)

Once I have a cream, lotion or serum for every part of my face and body, how long will it take for me to get showered, "maintained" and dressed? 2 hours? 3? Gee, I hope not. Who has that time?

On his morning walk, a doctor noticed this old lady. She was sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said,
"I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"
"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, have unprotected sex, and I don't exercise at all.

"That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"
"Thirty-six," she replied

Is there something wrong with ageing adding experience of life in general? Nope. It's been all good so far.

Just recently I have decided to still wear jeans and sneakers when I'm 70. Surely there will be a senior lady shape model? Maybe not at Banana Republic. I will always fondly remember the day when we were sent away from the Big & Tall sales guy. "There is nothing in here for you", he said. Well, thank you, we came for our 6 foot tall friend.

So I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

For now I entered that cosmetics store, and it didn't take long until a sales girl approached me. Actually she graduated from "girl" a while ago. Maybe she is even a GILF?

She was really nice, and I guess she has been trough every psychological training on how to talk to customers in order to make them feel good but still convince them they need to buy that product.

Always skeptical about those BEFORE / AFTER pics - is this the same person?
Although it might have been nice if she had said "Sweetie, you don't need anything, go and enjoy your life, see you back in 10 years!" Instead she said "it's good that you decided to start early. Let me show you some rookie products."

I suspect there is no such thing as a rookie product. Just like there is no size XXL condom, no matter what the label says. But hey, always encourage the customer, right?

I had to take only two decisions: *Tube or jar? Cream or gel? So I left after spending 45 bucks for a tube of  eye gel that if nothing else feels cool and soothing. Which beats going to the office with cucumber slices! Plus I can always hope for the placebo effect!?



*Thanks for your help, Christine!