June Secret Subject Swap - The Big Escape

Welcome to June's Secret Subject Swap. Again 16 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  
Sit back, grab a glass and check them all out:

Baking In A Tornado

My subject is 

You've just embezzled $10,000 from your employer and need to go on the run. 
Where do you hide, and what do you do with your new found fortune?

It was submitted by Searching for Sanity - thanks, Erin!

Oh my goodness, I'll take that champagne bath now!

I stare at the screen in disbelief. It's Wednesday morning, and as usual I'm downloading incoming payments from the bank. 

It was a reasonably OK night. Woke up at 2am, but managed to fall back asleep. 

I had coffee, I had breakfast, I had a shower. I feel pretty alert today.

However, there is this amount. Something can't be right. I've got to call my coworker. Maybe it's a computer virus. 

I blink. It's still there:


Because frankly, for 10,000 it wouldn't be worth doing it! That being said, I'm not even sure if I'd do it at all. I work for my husband. I can't steal from him! 

My heart is racing. Which client wired ten million? And why? 

Save accounts receivable, choose path, are you sure you want to import this payment? 

Uuuuhh, no, as a matter of fact, I'm not. 

But you know what? WTH!!! 


Now what? 

If I was a smoker, I'd go outside for a cigarette now. 

I need to think. I've got a choice here. 

I could investigate and reveal the obvious mistake. 

Or I could take this as a twist of fate. A once in a lifetime opportunity. Transfer the money to my personal account with just a couple of clicks. 

I'm on autopilot now. 

Enter security code, enter recipient, that's me, enter amount:


Geez, can I even deposit an amount like that on my crappy bank account without triggering some kind of fraud alarm? What part-time working Mom has transactions like this one? 

Too late. It's done.

I guess I have to go under cover, and soon.

I'm sweating. 

An hour ago I had a shower and used products called "secret escape". Haha.

I go to the office bathroom and wash my face with cold water.

Calm down. Just go about your day, act as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. Do your work, and at noon get the h*** out of here. 

I need to make a phone call, and I can't do it from my desk, because coworkers, and not from my cell phone either, because as soon as they find out what I did, they'll probably go through my history. It's too early in NYC anyway, I'll have to wait. 

I'm gonna have to get my passport at home. Pack a few things. 

Do I leave a note? "Sorry, I couldn't help myself, have a nice life." Maybe not. 

I'm feeling sick. I'm not cut out for this. 

Let's make a to do list:
  • Open off-shore account
  • Acquire burner phone
  • Book flight
  • Apply for new identity. Martin can help. His father knows people in D.C. 

5:45pm, I pick up Colin from daycare. I tell him we're not going home today, we're doing something fun instead. Remember how you always tell me you want to go to Australia? That's what we're going to do. 

Yes, tonight. 

No, Daddy's not coming. He's busy at work. No, you don't have to go to school tomorrow. 

Oh, and in oder to make it extra fun, we are going to assume new names. You may choose one for yourself and one for me. Tim? That's nice. And I'm Fiona. Allright, let's go to the airport. 

About 24 hours later we land in Melbourne, Victoria. On our layover in London, Great Britain, we met with Martin's contact person who handed us new U.S. passports. Tim and Fiona Johnson, originally from Sydney, Down Under. We are supposed to spend a couple of months in Australia to work on our accent. G'day, mate! 

We also called my husband from a pay phone before we boarded the Qantas aircraft.

He hadn't noticed about the money yet. I just said I needed a time out from it all, and I'd be in touch. I felt super guilty when I hung up. I am not used to betray people I love.

And who is going to help us? The one who brought it all up, remember my blogging friend Erin? Yes, she who has an angry kangaroo as a pet (it's the one on the left, he's drunk):

Thank you, Brent @ Viralhog for letting me us this video!

Erin who also keeps trolls in her yard, that's who. 

Her daughter, Miss K, likes Poo Juice, but she'll have to explain this to you in person.

Erin doesn't know it yet, but she'll let us stay with her for some time until we find a house. 

As I am typing this, C asks what I'm writing about. I tell him. He is surprised and a bit shocked. 

"Are you really going to do this, Mommy?" 

Nope, purely fictional. You can help making stuff up. After we'll get the green light to pass as Australians we are free to immigrate to the USA. As I'm gonna have tons of money, we could consider getting you a personal hockey coach. Who would you choose?

"Roman Josi!" Now he's getting the hang of it. My young guy crush ❤

Maybe not. I guess in Minnesota they've got snow from September till April. I'd rather live in Nashville! 

"True. They have a Rainforest CafĂ©. Plus I don't want to celebrate my birthday in snow. Where would I celebrate my birthday? Would we have a house?"

I don't know, sweetheart, maybe I could take you to Disneyland? 

"Yay!! Are there any smurfs? I'd like to visit a smurf theme park!" 

I'm not sure if there currently are any. Spain and Bahrain are working on it. But we'll figure it out. Heck, we might build our own!

"Good idea!"

Colin left, so let me carry on. 

Those of you who know me, have a pretty good idea where I want to ultimately end up: 

I just found out that I only scored 5/30 of the things to do in SD before you die. I need to fix that!

Not just yet, though! Those who might be looking for me, will do so in San Diego as their first priority, so I am in no hurry to get there. 

Instead I want to organize a blogger friend reunion. Well, it's not technically a re-union, more a "let's finally meet in person get together"! 

And I try. Hard. But people are busy and have small time windows.

That's why I decide to visit each and every online friend individually. Hey, after all, for the first time in my life I have both, time and money, to do exactly this! 

Not only can I spend money on accomodation, food and gas, but on gifts as well! 

You know, a washing machine and dryer for a certain blogger friend on the West coast, a six pack of garage door openers for a family of four people and three cars (one of which has recently been towed), an in-ground pool for a swim lover, a vacation for those who haven't been able to go away in forever, a couple of months' worth of mortgage payments to take the pressure off, craft supplies, college fund contributions, remodeling costs for one room - OK, two, trucks full of groceries, these kinds of things.

What a road trip Colin and I are gonna have!

If your city is not on my itinerary it's because I don't know and / or haven't found out where you live. Let me know, and I'll visit you!

Even though I can't pursue my part-time working Mom blog anymore, I am going to start a new one, under a fictional name, telling you about our adventures - always in delayed mode so I can't be tracked.

After a while the posts add up to a novel. Well, techincally it's my authentic journal, but that's between you and me.

Anyway - I am going to be published! My book is going to sell super well, in fact so well that I'm going to be able to pay back the money I took and return to Switzerland if I wish to do so without being prosecuted.