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Tuesday, March 8, 2016

How will you mark the day?

Today is International Women's Day. 



I know because it's on Google ;-) 

Apparently it has been on people's minds these days, too. This just happened on FB a couple of days ago:


Why is it that women are always writing about being a strong woman that works to support herself and get things in life and sometimes support kids. I think that's great. We men do that shit every day of the fucking year and never ask to be appreciated via any format of social media because not only do we take it for granted, the women we support take it for granted too. We don't have to big up ourselves for something we do as a normal thing. So ladies, are you doing something extraordinary? Stop looking for praise in the days of emancipation. You wanted it you hot it. Now live like a man and pay and shut the fuck up. Strong batches my arse. More like fucking attention seekers.


He added a comment about hating spell-check, too. He probably meant auto-correct.

Anyway. I posted if he ever heard me whining, he was welcome to shoot me.

I believe in making my own bed and lying in it. 


With my working "only" part-time outside the house it is clear to me that whatever goes on in the house is my job, especially since hubby's business partner died in 2011, and hubby has been spending six days a week at the office with very few exceptions. 

Do I like to shop, cook, clean up, do laundry? Not particularly, but it needs to be done. Luckily, the older and more self-sufficient Colin gets, the more freedom I get. 

A while ago my husband make a snarky remark about me having all the fun. I think it was a day during school break when C and I went to the city for pizza, hair appointment, donuts, toy store, the works.

I promptly suggested that I applied for a full-time job so he could have "days off". 



"This is gonna be so cool" I said. 


"When I come home from the office, there is a home cooked meal on the table, and as soon as I'm done with dinner, I can go play with my iPad while you load the dishwasher and supervise C taking a shower and getting ready for bed. The next morning I enjoy taking new clothes out of my closet, taking something from the fully stocked fridge and leaving for work without worrying about a thing when it gets late or I have to go away for business or C needs to be picked up at school cause he got his teeth knocked out. Oh, and the homework, snacks and playdates you get to be part of, that's gonna be so much fun for you..." 

I was only just getting started, but he mumbled something about leaving everything the way things are...

I would probably not write about it if I didn't just hear my Mom telling me about a "fellow young Mom" from my neighborhood who obviously dumped her husband for not helping out at home. I don't know specifics, but this is what my Mom said:

"They have three little girls, and she works as a school teacher. She has to take care of everything, and all he ever does is playing with the kids."


There was also some bitching about him being Italian, and his mother having him spoiled rotten, so he seems to think that not lifting a finger at home is normal.

I was stunned. How is dumping him helpful for anyone? 

First of all, they were living together before they had not one, but three kids. If he didn't vacuum back then, what made her think he would now?

Now that he has moved out, she still doesn't have any help around the house.

Add the stress of visitation schedules, tight budgets and eventually new partners, and a not so great situation just got shittier, no?

Again, I don't know specifics. There's probably more to it. 

My Mom also told me about another family. The couple had a joint bank account where both salaries were being transferred to. Every now and then, the husband felt free to rent a Ferrari for the weekend for him and his buddy and buy gifts for the kids with that money, and the poor wife had to manage to put food on the table for the rest of the month.

I was more stunned. 

"He does this once, I probably let it slide, he does it twice, my salary goes onto a separate account. Simple as that."

Mom smiled and said "yeah, that's what you would do."

Again, weren't they living together pre children? Were they never talking about their values and expectations? Did spending habits never come up?




I don't think we need more laws to protect us girls. We need to use our common sense and make sh** happen. 

I don't believe in 50:50, and I dont #PledgeForParity because I don't believe it can be achieved. 

Of course there should be equal pay for equal performance (did you notice I didn't say job?). 
Other than that I haven't seen any guy giving birth to a baby yet, so we can forget about equality. 

Also I quite like asking a guy for advice with my car because frankly I don't know a lot about how engines work, and why this tire is better than the other. 

I am short. I sometimes have to ask a tall person to give me something from the top shelf at the market. The tall people usually happen to be men.
Sometimes there is a step stool. That works, too.

I have worked for "technical" companies or departments where most of my clients were male engineers, and I have worked for Starbucks where two thirds of the work force were women. Let me just say there were different kinds of drama, but parity or equality was never an issue.



So back to the question "How will you mark the day?"

I will probably have a Mint Chocolate Chip Cheesecake Brownie




Other than that, 9 more sleeps till St. Patrick's Day!


How about you?