20 Days of Chill - Fears

Day 13 of A 'lil HooHaa's 20 Days of Chill!

Yesterday's theme was Stress, today we're talking about


No worries, though, tomorrow will be more uplifting, I promise! 

I'll even try and keep this one as light as possible. I am not a worrier as such, and I often try to tell my husband who likes to hope for the best but expect the worst to stop thinking about what might go wrong - he may actually spook it, you know? As in you asked for it.

I'm his very counterpart. I shoot first and aim worry later.  It's in my nature to assume things will go smoothly. It's also in my nature to improvise and make the best of it when things don't go smoothly. 

I am lucky not to have many of the common fears. While I am not a huge fan of spiders they don't get me to shriek or run. Being stuck in an elevator would probably not make my day, but it wouldn't kill me either. 9/11 hit me hard, but I am not walking through life expecting something similar to happen again (maybe I should, though?)

11/9 certainly hit me, too. Seeing the Donald's face agitates me, but there is a saying in German that goes "nichts wird so heiss gegessen, wie es gekocht wird" literally translates as nothing is being eaten as hot as it has been cooked, things are never as bad as they seem. One can only hope!

Becoming and being a Mom, however, has brought a couple of fears upon me!

First I was afraid I wouldn't ever become pregnant. 

Then I feared to lose the baby. 

I was too superstitious to even buy baby stuff! I did't have anything ready until I was 8 months pregnant. When I finally came home with the stroller, baby tub, hoodie towel and some basic clothes I remember thinking "what if the baby is stillborn? I think I would kill myself. I would never be able to overcome this."

Of course I had some reservations about this giving birth business, but all in all I was pretty optimistic. Mainly because millions of women had managed to push their babies out, so I trusted I wouldn't break that streak. 

Also I (thought I) knew I could have an epidural at any time, and it would take away the pain.

Once the baby was born, clearly I could go on being my usual fearless self, right?

You guessed right. No such luck.

SIDS is a bitch. 

Once he ate solids I worried he could choke. 

When began to crawl and pull himself up - I thought geez he might fall and hit his head! 

As he got older and more independent, I was able to relax, fortunately. Yes, he did fall, and he did hit his head, but he is a kid, and that's what they do, and chances are they'll survive. 

I can't be there all the time, and I can't prevent him from falling and failing, he's gotta go through rough times, and they'll make him stronger. 

He's pretty forgetful, and I have to try and not save his butt when I notice he forgot his snack box, gym bag or library books. He's gotta learn now or he may never.

How to stop helicopter parenting

I try not to think that something may happen to my husband, parents or friends. Instead I focus on enjoying their company. I may overdo sometimes. You know, the special wine on an ordinary Thursday because that special opportunity may never be special enough anyway.

What are your fears? How do you cope?

Check out my friends' posts and visit again tomorrow when we discuss the next then years. This shall be interesting!