Welcome back to Top Ten Thursday!
Thank you for being patient while I was busy posting for 20 Days of Chill all through January!
This week we're trying to come up with suggestions on how to handle a delicate situation:
A friendly couple is breaking up. What are we (not) supposed to do or say? Here are the top ten things I've come up with:
- Make them a breakup brownie because in case you didn't know: chocolate makes you happy! PS: there is a healthier, home made option to Nutella, check it out!
- Be there for your friend. Bring tissues and more chocolate. Better no wine. Don't want to start a bad habit. Offer to pick up the kids or groceries.
- Is there an etiquette for "I was friends with you first, so you are mine"? In the eyes of a grieving, newly dumped person there certainly is. Ask yourself if you want to go along in the long run. Crisis situations often bring out a friend's true colors. It sounds harsh, but if you don't feel you're one of those loyal you can call me at 2am, I'll be there kind of friends, keep your distance. They need an honest, not a fake friend.
- If you've been friends with both, things may get tough. You want to be neutral, but facts or personal values can prevent you from not picking sides. Be authentic about it. If a sleazy affair is a no-no for you, you don't have to feign sympathy for the cheating party.
- Be a good listener. They'll need to talk about it more than once. While we all have our own experience, our breakup has nothing to do with your friend's, so let's spare them our well-meant suggestions. Of course nobody wants to hear that time heals all wounds either! If you feel the recurring topic becomes too much, suggest a time out, go to the movies or play some tennis together.
- Try to stay out of the mess, no "were you at the party, did you see my ex, who were they with?" gossip. You don't want to find yourself in the middle of it.
- Don't assume you know everything that has been going on in their relationship - there are always two sides to the story. Give the other person a chance to explain themselves if they ask for it. However, be careful - see #6
- Avoid ex bashing. They were together for a reason. You can still be supportive and say "I'm so sorry you have to go through that, I would feel like crap, too."
- Let them know that you're thinking of them often, a simple text to say hi may make them smile.
- Be their prevent me from doing something stupid person. Instead of drunk texting their ex, they can text you. Instead of going home with rebound guy / girl the two of you can have a sleepover.
Wow, I sound like a relationship guru. I was trying to speak from my own times I was heartbroken. I don't have all the answers, though. How to handle the ex if they're not reaching out, but you'd like to tell them that they're always welcome at your house? How to tell your friend that enough is enough and they need to move on?
Have you been in one of those situations? Tell us about it in a comment down below or link up your own post using the link-tool.
Next week we're doing something lighter. I ask you to pick one of the following movies and "analyse" it. Choose ten scenes from that movie of which you think are surprising or questionable, or just wrong, and talk about them:
- The Wedding Planner
- Pretty Woman
- Ocean's Eleven
- When Harry met Sally
- Sleepless in Seattle
- Analyse this / that
- Forrest Gump
- Breakfast at Tiffany's
- Any James Bond movie starring Sean Connery
Got it? Wonderful. Can't wait for that one. It posts on February 9. Sign up here.
What's up the week after, February 16? I can't help it but I feel we need to talk about Valentine's Day: why do you love (or hate or simply ignore) it, what are your top ten thoughts on Valentine's Day?