UBC Motherhood - First Year

It's funny - or not - how time messes with your memories.

Had you asked me back then how things were going during the first year, I'd probably have complained.

Sleep deprivation, slow recovery after complicated birth, no me-time, gone from successful businesswoman to incontient zombie,...

Today, I think it wasn't all that bad. Yes, he was hungry all the time, yes, he was a really bad sleeper, but other than that he was a good baby. Only cried when he wanted food. 

Come to think of it, this has not changed. Only today he can make his own frozen pizza ;-)

We had a special time together. He taught me to let go of certain expecations:

• Have a predictable schedule
• Find recognition 
• Get sh** done at home
• Style your hair 
• Have several meals a day
• Read a book
• Watch a movie
• Meet friends

I remember one particular afternoon. My parents dropped in, and they brought friends along to whom they wanted to introduce their grandson. Luckily I had had a shower. Other days I might very well still have been in my PJs. They offered to take baby Colin for a stroller walk, and instead of thanking them and taking a nap, I joined them. 

I got dizzy on a steep part of the trail and had to stop and sit down.

They were all worried, and I was a little worried myself, until I remembered when I had last eaten: It was dinner the night before. 

Most days I had to decide between a shower or a meal.

Speaking of recognition: The proud gentleman holding my baby is my Dad. He has undergone a remarkable transformation over the years. 

When my brother and I were kids, he was very strict, authoritative even. Hard to please. I was a good student and a good girl, doing what was expected of me, blablabla. Yet growing up, I felt I couldn't do anything right for him.

Fast forward many years, and I push out a little human being. Boom - he treats me like a queen! In all the situations he could have critiqued my parenting style, he didn't. 

Once - in the context of raising a little one - he said something along the lines "they (hubby and I) are doing well." Not directly to my face, but I was within earshot.

Wow. 

I did not intend to use this post to rant about the past. Since it had a late happy end, I will just leave it here. 

I am aware that the way people grew up, influences their own parenting style. While I may be strict in certain areas, I do a lot of things just the opposite way. Of course this approach comes with its own flaws. I may be too nice and too caring, and if he wasn't such a good person, he could very well take advantage of my generosity. Plus I will have a hard time to let go.

Hubby always likes to say "In life, you may do whatever you please - as long as you live with the consequences." 

Ain't that the truth.