UBC Motherhood - Independence

When you're a new Mom it is drilled into your head that from now on you bear full responsibility for that innocent, helpless little human being.

You feed them, you change them, you do your best that they get enough sleep.

And for some reason you seem to believe that this is your life now - forever. 

At least for a very long time.

At least that's how I felt.

Can you imagine my surprise when one fine day in December 2008, meaning baby Colin was three months old, he sort of grabbed the bottle from my hands as if he wanted to say 

"You know what? I can do that on my own. Go do something else!"

And then you blink, and your baby is off to Kindergarten!

I grew up in the Swiss village we live (again) today. Of course back then, there where were less citizens, and there was way less traffic. 

Nevertheless, Kindergarten kids as young as four years old are expected to walk themselves to school. Parents may accompagny them the first few weeks, but if they keep showing up in front of the classroom way into the semester, teachers will ask them to give their kids some space.

This video was taken Friday of the first week of Colin's Kindergarten career. Thursday he had announced from now on he wanted to walk alone or with his friends. I was surprised. I hadn't taken nearly enough pictures!!!!

So I got the gift of taking him one more time on Friday morning. The video is a medley of all five days of this week:

Swiss schools are convinced that the school route is a valuable opportunity to interact with other kids, explore the environment, become more independent and what not.

Since this is how I grew up, I never even thought about it. It's normal for me. I have to say though I had some unpleasant experiences with boys who bullied me and other girls. I guess this was part of developing resilience?

Anyway. Young kids are still supposed to walk alone, yet more and more parents walk with them. Or take them by car, causing dangerous situations while parking and pulling out since these school areas are not designed for dropping off and picking up. 

I'm pretty sure many of these parents are (or could be) part of the "International Mothers Living In Switzerland" Facebook Group. 

Every summer there are the same recurring posts: 

• What kind of backpack do I purchase for my kid? (Make sure it's waterproof. Other than that go for their favourite color)
• What are Geräteturnschlärpli? (Gymnastic shoes with a gripped sole)
• Which snack box is the best and 100% leak-proof? (It doesn't really matter, it's not that you have to send a warm meal)
• How do I put my child in the same class as his best friend? (You can't. Your kid will be assigned to a class, and if you try to appeal this decision, most likely you're off to a bad start with school authorities.)

And the longtime favorite:

• They can't seriously tell me not to take my kid to school until they're at least ten years old!!

So when I came across this post, I had an idea what to expect.

Some 60 answers were from concerned - and outraged - mothers screaming "absolutely not!!!" 

A few ladies added "what if anything happens? You will be charged with neglect."

Then there were a handful ladies saying "I guess it depends on how trustworthy your kid is."

And then there I was, over here, thinking "what's the big deal, I started doing so when he was four years old."

Actually I distinctly remember. It was before Christmas, and as I was decorating the living room, I noticed I ran out of something. Tape, batteries, more Santa hats...?

"Hey, Colin, let's go to (insert Swiss equivalent of Hobby Lobby), we need to get some Christmas decoration stuff."

He was playing and didn't want to be interrupted.

You go alone, Mommy, I'll stay here, he suggested.

For a second I was like "absolutely not!!!" 

But then I thought "why not? He's a good kid, he's not interested in matchsticks, and he won't touch the kitchen appliances, plus he knows my and Daddy's mobile number by heart."

I texted hubby (who worked only a few minutes away) that I was going to run an errand for half an hour, and our son was going to be home alone.

The store is a five minutes' drive away. I parked, ran in, grabbed my things, paid and was probably back in my car ten minutes later. As soon as I emerged from the parking garage and had cell reception, I called home.

Hello?

He said in his sweet little voice.

"Hey honey, it's me, Mommy. How are you doing?"

Fine.

"What are you doing?"

Playing with my LEGOs.

"Wonderful. I'm on my way home. Will be there in five minutes."

OK, Bye.

I let hubby know I was back home.

From then on we kept doing this every now and then.

Once, I was just getting into my car at the grocery store, he called.

What's taking you so long? he complained. I'm hungry!

Hahaha, that's my boy.