Secret Subject Swap - More Children?

Welcome to May's Secret Subject Swap. 

Again five brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  

Sit back, grab a cup and check them all out:

Baking In A Tornado

Climaxed

What TF Sarah

Part-Time Working Hockey Mom

On The Border

My subject is 

Do you wish you had more children or less? Why?

It was submitted by: The Diary of an Alzheimers Caregiver - thank you, Rena!

Wait a minute. Rena? Didn't she... pass away a few weeks ago? She sadly did, after half a year of serious health issues, ambulance rides and hospital stays. She did, however, sign up for the entire year's worth of writing challenges, and our host Karen suggested to distribute Rena's prompts among us. What a wonderful way to commemorate her. 

I will remember Rena as a loyal and emphatic friend. She had to go through many hard times in her life, and the last few years with the pandemic and the political division of her country have certainly taken their toll on her. 

My last direct interaction with Rena was when she sent me happy birthday wishes on March 2nd. A few days later she excitedly started to plan a night out with her husband Patrick. They were going to have dinner and watch a film at a drive-in movie. Things did not go as planned. 

She called it a misadventure. The restaurant ran out of the food that wasn't great to begin with. Preparing this meal took over an hour, which made them late for the movie, so they missed a large part of it. The rest didn't impress them. The best part of the weekend was that she got to spend it with her twin grandkids. Cookies were involved, too. Plus she was able to breathe without her oxygen tank. So all in all not too bad.

I do hope that Rena is now pain free and reunited with her Mom, whom she cared for over several years.

So what prompt did I get from Rena today?

Do you wish you had had more children or less? Why?  

Short answer: I'm perfectly happy with the one I have.

Since this is supposed to be a full blog post, let's dig deeper.

When I was a little girl, I assumed my journey would be similar to my Mom's (and Rena's come to think of it) Mom got married and had two kids. However, she tried to advise me not to do so too young. She was 21 and change when she had me. "Be independent and explore the world" she told me. Can you believe I listened to my Mom and did just that? 

As a young teenager I thought kids - especially my younger brother and his friends - were annoying, and I was definitely not going to have any of my own.

As an older teenager kids became my source of income. I babysat, and either I was lucky to be hired by parents who did a great job raising their kids, or other people's kids weren't as bad in general?

When I was 21 I had my first job and apartment and was miles away from starting a family. The boyfriend I was with at the time and I would probably not have made it as a couple, so it was a good thing when a pregnancy scare remained just that: a scare.

A good ten years later, another boyfriend left me and moved out of our apartment to be with another woman. Apart from the heartbreaking end of a relationship I thought was going to last, I saw my hopes of ever having a family being swept away.

Good thing I met the guy who's been my partner in crime for over 20 years now. 

Of course I would have liked to have the stereotype family: A boy and a girl. No dog, and I don't care about picket fences. 

Since it took us way too long to get pregnant, and I wasn't getting any younger, I'm really grateful to have the one healthy and happy baby boy who turns 15 later this year. 

Having only one allowed me to fully focus on him. We had plenty of quality time thanks to my working part-time, and I made sure he had playdates and activities where he met other children all the time. 

He wasn't going to end up being a spoiled only child. He attended daycare, and he grew up with what was going to turn out to be my best Mom friend's sons. I like to think of them as the closest he has come to having brothers.

When he was probably between three and four years old, he asked why he didn't have any siblings? My heart sank. "Would you want some?" I asked. Turned out, he specifically wanted a brother who played hockey. "So, what if you had a sister who's into ballet?" No thanks, he said. Case closed.

We may have gone a little overboard celebrating his birthdays, but it was so much fun!

Every so often we would have his friends over. I'm so glad he has managed to build and maintain valuable friendships. I never have to fear he might be hanging out with the wrong crowd.

Colin's teachers perceive him as someone who brings kids and different opinions together and takes responsibility. His coaches seem to think so, too. Look at my boy, almost grown up, leading his team not only to victory as their captain, but encouraging a younger teammate.

Our house may not be full of children, but our hearts are certainly full of joy and pride about the one we have.

Speaking of house. Colin will start high school this August. It's a ten minutes' train ride away, meaning he'll probably stay there for lunch. It's going to get awfully quiet around here. I have recently learned that the term for us parents is not "empty nesters" but "free birds". Sounds promising, right?

Rena, you won't be forgotten. May you rest in peace!