Are Friends like fast-moving consumer Goods in the Supermarket of Life?

Photo Credit: Rosa Rafael on Unsplash

For a very long time, The Body Shop sold product lines sorted by fruit. They had shower gel, dispenser soap, body lotion, hand cream and eau de toilette that all smelled of strawberries. Or apricot, mango, or - my all time favorite - lemon. These were the core products. Twice a year, seasonal limited editions were released, such as Love & Plum, Lucious Lychee or Spiced Orange. I missed the opportunity to find out what love smells like. I hope it was a success, and they will bring it back!

So far so good. 

The other day I went to the mall, and that alone is worth mentioning, because since the pandemic I've kind of lost the joy of aimlessly wandering around and looking at the offers. This time, however, I had very specific items in mind that I wanted to buy. 

One was my beloved lemon liquid soap. 

I had already noticed in the recent past that the overall picture in The Body Shop had changed. While the colors of the fruity products used to dominate the appearance, today all the products look the same from a distance. Boring. 

The lines are now called Tea Tree, Britisch Rose. Moringa or Olive. Huh?

A shop assistant approached me. Turned out she couldn't help. "We don't sell it anymore" she said. "I know exactly which product you're talking about, but it has disappeared from the market", she said. "Best I can recommend is Zesty Lime Blossom Shower Gel". No thanks.

I left, feeling defeated and upset. Didn't they make enough money selling lemon soap? Has it gone out of fashion because the main target customers can't appreciate a classic? Why aren't there any liquid dispenser soaps anymore? Are we really going back to hand soaps, the bars that every person touches with their dirty hands? That either slips off the sink or sticks to it and makes a mess? Why???

At home I went online, determined to track down some remaining stock, if not on the company website, then on Amazon. 

Look what I found!

Happy Dance! 

Added four pieces to my chart, and in order to save 5.50 in shipping, I spent another CHF 28 on hand and body lotion.  #GirlMath. Never mind, though. It was gonna be my Mother's Day gift. 

I ordered it to my office address. I hate when packages are shoved into our home mailbox because the post people are too busy to leave them at our doorstep, or God forbid, ring the door bell and hand them to the customer. 

My delivery arrived while I was at work, and it's a good thing I didn't tear open the package in the heat of the moment, because I would need the box again for the return shipment. 

What happened? 

I had accidentally ordered "moisturizing & cleansing hand gel", not soap. The kind of product that was popular during the pandemic. You rubbed it on your hands after touching the shopping cart and pressing the lift button. The bottles look identical, with the exception that one used to say "hand wash", and this one is called "hand gel".

Not what I had in mind. 

Contacted customer service and spent CHF 10 to send the four gel bottles back. 

Still didn't have any lead for lemon scented liquid dispenser soap, even though I did a ton of googling. Posted on two Facebook Mommy Groups, asking for recommendations and got an avalanche of suggestions. Grapefruit, Lemon & Basil, some bar soaps, a product that looked like what I had in mind but can only be ordered off an Italian website, Sicilian, to be precise. 

One lady offered to send me a free sample of the "White Tea & Citrus" product she distributes. What she sent was a full sized item, and it was a hand scrub. It smells nice, but I don't like the sandy texture. It's part of a 3-piece set and usually not available separately. Now I'm in the situation of spending money on a type of product I didn't want or on shipping to send it back. 

Plus I may have to travel to Sicily.

I don't know why this situation bugs me so much. It's just soap.

Or isn't it?

I feel like I have to make compromises because the market keeps changing, and I don't like it. 

It's not just soap. I can't get my favorite facial toner anymore, and don't get me started on the "Healing Garden" calming body spray that helped me fall asleep 20 years ago. 

Same goes for food. My favorite item from the frozen vegetable section disappeared as well. 

It was simple frozen sweet corn. I loved to have a few packages in my freezer and use just the amount I needed on any given day. Taste-wise it was the next best thing to fresh corn. When I was done, all that was left, was a plastic bag that didn't take up much space in the trash. Now I had to go back to either cans or glass jars. Both take up space in the pantry and have to be taken to the recycling place. 

That's just some examples. I could go on. 

It made me think about friends and life. 

I may have mentioned it a couple of times. Growing up I thought once you had made a good friend, you were supposed to stay friends for life. I found it difficult to accept the transience of stages in life. School friends, work friends, hobby friends, mom friends, are they really just there for a period of time?

Are people nothing more than fast moving consumer goods in the supermarket of life?

I always refused to believe so and put a lot of effort into keeping in touch with "old friends" because I cherished them even we didn't have the original commonalities of attending class, working together and the like. 

Maybe it would be easier to go with the flow and let go? I''m tried of people being like "I'll be in touch" and then they aren't. 

The other day I texted a fellow Hockey Mom to ask "are we still on for dinner tonight?" She replied "of course", and I could tell she wanted to say "why wouldn't we?" 

She's cut from the same cloth as me. 

We are a dying breed. 

So many people nowadays are super flaky and don't want to commit, because life happens and / or something better might come along. 

A friend invited me to a business networking lunch, and I accepted. As had a dozen other people. We ended up being three people. Three! The organizer and two guests. In this day and age, it literally takes a mouse click to excuse yourself at short notice from an appointment that you had previously agreed to. Is this too much to ask?

What am I even complaining about? I organized a high school reunion, and they showed up! Everybody was genuinely happy to reconnect, and they thanked me profoundly for taking the initiative. 

I wished a happy birthday to a coworker from my first job, and we are going to meet for lunch in June. 

Why does it always have to be me though? I know I may have the stay in touch gene, and I am organized, yada-yada, but it'd be nice if other people would make contact for a change.

Photo Credit: Simon Maage on Unsplash

But then I think, maybe this is my role. Maybe I'm the glue that holds these connections together, the thread that weaves through different patches of life, tying them into a cohesive fabric. It can be exhausting, yes, and sometimes disheartening when the effort feels one-sided. However, when those rare, genuine moments of reconnection happen, they are profoundly rewarding.

Perhaps it's not about expecting others to take the initiative but about appreciating the unique contribution I bring to these relationships. Each time I reach out, organize, or remember a significant date, I'm reinforcing bonds that might otherwise fray. And when those efforts are reciprocated, it’s a reminder that the connections I've nurtured are strong and meaningful.

So, while it would be nice if others occasionally took the lead, I’ll continue to cherish my role as the connector. Because in a world where people often move on and let go, being the one who holds on can be a rare and valuable trait. And who knows? Maybe, in time, my efforts will inspire others to reach out more often, creating a ripple effect of connection and commitment.

What do you think? (And can you recommend a liquid lemon-scented hand soap?)