UBC January 2025 - Striving vs Thriving

Hello and happy Friday! 

Also, welcome back to another UBC post. Today, let's discuss whether “thriving in life” is a human right.

A Facebook post caught my attention recently, and I couldn’t shake it. Here’s what an anonymous member of a Mom Group wrote:

"Hello, I would love your thoughts on moving to Munich. Has anyone lived in Munich and Zurich to provide a comparison? For context, I’m from NYC, and we have a small 6-month-old. No offense, but I find Zurich so boring, slow, and unfriendly.

I’m not thriving here.

My husband is German, and the baby has a German passport as well. I plan to go back to work in tech when the baby is 1 year. I’ve held senior business roles at the top 5 tech companies in the U.S.

Some things I’m thinking about:

1. How easy/hard would it be for me to get a job in Munich without German language? It can’t be worse than Switzerland, surely?

2. What about getting into schools and daycare centers for the baby and building a community with other moms? How’s that in Munich?"

First of all, “no offense” didn’t help—hello, as a Swiss, I’m still offended that she finds Zurich boring and unfriendly! And coming from NYC, where “friendly” means someone didn’t shove you on the subway, I find her comment ironic.

This post got me thinking about the difference between striving and thriving. As a non-native English speaker, I realized I wasn’t 100% clear on the distinction, so I looked it up: striving involves effort and commitment, while thriving is about reaping the rewards. It’s an interesting contrast—and one that makes me wonder what efforts this mom has made to thrive in Zurich.

I understand how difficult it can be to adjust to a new country. When I moved from Switzerland to San Diego, CA, I was lucky to meet many friendly people, but it would be an exaggeration to say I thrived there. I went to university, built a network, and applied for jobs, but my expectations were realistic—it never crossed my mind to blame the city or the country for my challenges.

I commented on her post, providing links to YouTubers who discuss cultural differences between the U.S. and Germany. I didn’t say outright that knowing some German is essential for the Swiss or German job markets, even in “international” companies. You need the language to communicate with landlords, childcare workers, doctors, and others. Instead, I wrote:

"Munich is a major tech hub in Germany, home to many international companies and startups. While some roles might require German, there’s a thriving expat community.

Some downsides: Many daycares in Germany face staffing shortages, which can mean long waiting lists and limited hours (e.g., 9 AM–3 PM or fewer). This is a huge challenge for working parents. 

Also, Germany is notorious for its ‘backward’ bureaucracy—registering your address, setting up internet, and opening a bank account can all take time and involve plenty of paperwork.

That said, I love Munich 🙂 as a tourist."

Others chimed in, mentioning expensive housing, scarce childcare, high taxes, and unreliable public transportation in Munich. Some even described experiences with hostile coworkers who deliberately sent emails in German because “foreigners should learn.”

In my experience, Swiss colleagues are much more accommodating toward non-German speakers. Still, if she believes Munich is the solution—Bye Felicia! Just make sure to get on daycare waiting lists the day you arrive, so you have a chance in 1.5–2 years.

This brings me back to my original question: Is thriving a human right—or even a realistic expectation—wherever we live?

Life is challenging enough without the added pressure of needing to “thrive.” As a working mom, I’ve found it normal to put my own needs on the back burner. Between raising children and juggling responsibilities, expecting to thrive in every area feels unrealistic.

That said, I don’t think having children means your life is over. A fueled car drives better, after all. Fulfillment and purpose are important—but are we entitled to them? In my opinion, no.

In Switzerland, with one of the highest living standards in the world, it’s still hard to reach the top of Maslow’s pyramid of needs. What about those living in countries with unstable governments, limited access to education, or scarce food?

For fun, I took the "Are You Pretending or Thriving?" quiz and scored only 52%. My problem? The questions revolved around job satisfaction. After years of commuting an hour each way before Colin was born, I’ve prioritized working part-time close to home. This flexibility allows me to manage my second job as a hockey mom—and as a blogger. The quiz didn’t account for that!

At the end of the day, thriving isn’t just about external factors like where we live or work—it’s about how we adapt, the connections we foster, and the perspective we bring. Maybe that’s why I scored only 52%: my focus is on balancing what truly matters to me—family, flexibility, and hockey mom life—instead of chasing an ideal that might not exist.

But what about you? Do you believe thriving is a right or a privilege? I’d love to know how you balance striving and thriving in your life.