As soon as we returned from our Easter vacation in Stockholm, we worked for a week and then went away again — this time for four days to a picturesque Alpine town 80 km south of Salzburg, Austria. There, we found ideal conditions for productive work and relaxing breaks in a cozy hotel.
By “work,” I don’t mean anything related to operational or strategic issues in my husband's business, but rather a personal development seminar he had long been tempted to attend.
We went with mixed feelings. On one hand, we were grateful for time away from our daily grind — though it meant our son Colin had to fend for himself for a few days. On the other hand, we were skeptical about the overall format of the seminar and the somewhat outdated delivery style we had experienced in previous events.
When we arrived, a shelf of fluffy teddy bears in the shop next to the hotel reception caught my eye. I told myself, “I don't know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need another stuffed animal.” More on that later.
We knew only a few of the roughly 40 participants, but thanks to a few clever strategies from the seminar leaders, we soon connected with almost everyone.
For my future self — and perhaps for you — the methods were simple yet effective:
After morning meditation, we were asked to walk back to the hotel with someone we didn’t know and share our thoughts. Meditation? Me? I know. But it wasn’t bad. Being away from everyday distractions certainly helped.
After every module, we took a break. On return, we were told to sit somewhere else — next to someone we hadn’t yet interacted with. Group work naturally followed.
Presenting in pairs or small groups made it easier to open up and connect.
The group itself was a colorful mix — mostly Germans from the Munich area, plus a few Swiss — spanning from late 20s to early 60s. Some were single, some in relationships (ranging from newly in love to it’s complicated), others married, divorced, or very recently separated.
Professionally, the group was just as diverse: there were craftsmen, managers, office workers, people between jobs, and others rethinking their entire career paths. Physically, it ranged from gym and spa-goers to bikers, joggers, a hockey player, and an American football player — alongside cancer survivors and even an organ transplant recipient, who especially impressed me.
This diversity made the seminar’s themes all the more powerful.
The core idea: to revisit negative or painful experiences that continue to affect us, acknowledge the survival skills we gained from them, and actively reclaim those strengths.
We were asked:
What have we learned from these experiences?
Despite the pain, what was it good for?
What did it protect us from?
And how can we honor the growth we’ve achieved?
Many explored childhood family dynamics — stories of not feeling “good enough,” not being accepted, or not being loved.
One topic I worked on was an operation I had as a five-year-old. I was “left alone” in hospital for ten weeks. That’s how I experienced it at the time. My parents, of course, had their reasons — my younger brother couldn’t handle strangers, small children weren’t allowed to visit, and my mother couldn’t drive — but my little world crumbled when she dropped me off, and I cried for hours.
The medical procedures were frightening: blood samples, x-rays, the removal of stitches and drains. Though I was occasionally taken to play school in my bed for crafts, the days were long and lonely. I had to learn patience, be brave, and find a way to be self-sufficient in that isolation.
My grandmother, bless her heart, visited as often as she could and noticed I was curious about letters. She began bringing cards handwritten in block capitals — and with her help, I learned to read! Soon I was devouring children’s books all by myself. No smartphones in those days. Through this, I learned to have faith in the process, even when it felt like I was alone in the journey.
Even at home, our lives were tightly structured: Chores before play, punctuality expected, freedoms limited, curfew enforced. While it felt unfair compared to my peers, it also made me reliable, diligent, and independent. A week after graduation, I landed my first job and moved into my first apartment. Freedom at last! Late nights, phone calls, TV until morning — theoretically.
In all reality, I needed to be fit for work. 😉
One exercise invited us to see what we had been protected from — not in spite of, but because of what we had already endured. For what it's worth, I wasn’t spoiled or reckless. I didn’t drop out of school or get pregnant at 15.
Then we were asked to formulate a positive mantra — a reversal of our old limiting beliefs.
So from “I was abandoned, unloved, treated harshly, and not allowed to have fun,” I crafted:
We were also encouraged to choose a visual that represents our transformed self — how we look once we’ve “made it.” I found two.
Outside the inner work, the hotel experience was pure indulgence. The breakfast buffet was spectacular: smoothie station, countless breads, eggs, cheese, deli meats, fresh fruits — and a Nutella machine! Sadly, it broke and I only got to enjoy it once. It ground freshly roasted hazelnuts into a warm, smooth paste with sugar and chocolate. Heaven!
Of course, I blew my calorie budget daily, especially thanks to Austrian dessert classics: Apple Strudel, Kaiserschmarrn (crumbled pancake served with fruit compote), Linzer and Sacher Torte, Zwetschgenbuchteln (yeast rolls filled with plum confiture) and other delicacies. From tomorrow it's back to carrot sticks!
I could go on — and maybe I will in another post. But for now, let me say this:
Opening up, being vulnerable, and connecting with strangers in such a deep way was liberating. I even took the initiative to speak in front of the whole group — I, who never volunteers to speak publicly! Knowing that everyone carries their own story made it easier. And though I may never see most of these people again, I will remember them for a long time.
Now, let’s return to that shelf of teddy bears.
Bukowski is a Swedish family business that has been making plush animals since 1990. I spotted some of their creations on day one, but my practical side told me not to bring home another dust magnet.
And yet — one of our seminar leaders explicitly asked us to take home a physical reminder of our experience. (No, not the lounge chair from the terrace!)
You guessed it: I went back.
Meet Florence.
Her name comes from Florentia, Latin for “blooming.” If that’s not a sign, I don’t know what is.
Have you ever reexamined a painful memory and found unexpected strength in it? What would your reversed mantra be?
Wow! What a memory...
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