Swedish Friendship, Dating, Housing — and the Sambo Way

Photo by ELEVATE on Pexels

Welcome back, this year's July UBC is winding down... But I am not done sharing snippets of Swedish culture. Today we're trying to make friends with Swedes.

Full disclosure: I’m not speaking from personal heartbreak. But they say making friends with Swedes is about the same as in Switzerland, and after watching a handful of videos by locals and baffled foreigners alike I got confirmation:

Swedes are warm… Once you know them.

Getting to that point? Not so easy.

In Sweden, most people make their friends in childhood, school, or work, and once that circle is formed, it’s kind of like IKEA flatpack furniture: Strong, sealed, and not meant to be taken apart or added onto.

Public space ≠ social space
If there’s an empty seat on the bus — take it.
Don’t sit next to someone unless you absolutely have to.
And in a queue, give people room to breathe. Swedes love their personal space like they love their midsummer rituals: sacred and not up for negotiation. See meme below talking about social distancing during the pandemic. 

The Silent RSVP
If you’re lucky enough to get invited to something by a Swede, listen closely:
They won’t remind you.
There’s no text “Hey, just checking if you’re coming?” 
You have to write down the date yourself, mark it on your calendar, and show up.
And here’s the magic: Everyone will be there.
No excuses, no last-minute cancellations. Just quiet, dependable attendance.

And then there’s dating.
Forget the grand gestures. Flirting is subtle. Sometimes invisible.
Swedes tend to admire equality, restraint, and non-intrusiveness. So no one’s going to call across the street to compliment your smile.

That said… nightlife is a different universe. On a Friday or Saturday night - after a few beers - all bets are off. Yes, a Swede will talk to you in a bar. They may even flirt. With words!
But expect the confidence to vanish by Sunday morning, and don’t count on it happening again in daylight.

So yes, making friends or finding romance in Sweden isn’t impossible. But it may require patience, social radar, and a pub with decent lighting.

Photo by Helena Lopes on Pexels

Why Swedes Move Out Early — and Prefer to Live Alone

Sweden has one of the highest solo-living rates in the world: about 44% of households are made up of just one person. By comparison, Switzerland has around 36%, and the U.S. about 28%.

This isn’t just a lifestyle trend, it’s built into the system. Sweden’s strong social welfare network, access to student housing, and a rental market that mostly works give young people the tools to be independent early on.

Add to that a cultural preference for personal space and self-sufficiency, and it makes perfect sense that moving out is practically a rite of passage by age 21.

Many teenagers get their own apartment right after high school, and yes, that’s surprisingly common, especially in cities and university towns.
Southern and Eastern European cultures often expect young people to stay until marriage or financial stability, which, these days, can take a while.

Contrast this with Italy, where the average age to leave the parental home hovers around 30,  and even later for men. (Why rush out when Mama still cooks, cleans, and folds your socks?)

In Sweden, independence comes early. And it often includes moving in with a partner. 

Enter: The Sambo Life

If, against all odds, you manage to break through the Nordic chill and move in together: Congrats! You’ve entered the sambo zone.

In Sweden, sambo isn’t a dance — it’s a way of life.
A sambo is someone you live with in a romantic relationship without being married.
It’s not just a nickname, it’s a legal status, protected by its own law: Sambolagen.

Over half of Swedish couples live together as sambos, especially before (or instead of) marrying.
You share a home, split the bills, maybe raise kids, but skip the ring, the wedding, and the joint tax return.

Speaking of: Unlike Switzerland, or even parts of the U.S., where getting married might hit you with a tax penalty, Sweden taxes everyone individually. No incentives. No pressure. Your relationship, your way... and joint ownership of a Scandinavian sofa.

Photo by Lorenzo Manera on Pexels

Have you ever found it challenging to make close friends or form romantic connections in a culture different from your own?