Secret Subject Swap - Here comes the Bride

Welcome to August's Secret Subject Swap

Again 8 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  

Sit back, grab a cup and check them all out:

Baking In A Tornado

Wandering Web Designer
Spatulas on Parade 
The Bergham Chronicles
Never Ever Give Up Hope   
Our Prime Years
Part-Time Working Hockey Mom

My subject is

If you were to plan your wedding today, what would you do differently from when you were originally married?

It was submitted by: Baking In A Tornado  - thank you, Karen!

It's interesting that I get this prompt only a few days after our 15 years anniversary. 

We got married at our local medieaval castle as per hubby's request who is not a local and always thought if he'd get married he wanted it to be there.

I can't believe how young we were looking, even though we were way beyond our 20s! 

Add another couple of years tough, and this is what our picture is going to be like, haha:

This is the whole purpose of marriage, though, right? Getting old and wrinkly - together.

So, back to the question at hand. If I had to do it all again, what would I change?

While our traditional big wedding was very nice, the only two things I'd probably do differently is the size of the party and the dress. 

What do I mean by this? 

At a wedding reception with well over 100 guests, we as the couple of honor didn't get any quality time with our family and friends, some of which flew in just for the weekend. 

We had to check off our activities: 

  • Run down the aisle (you don't know my Dad! I had a hard time keeping up with him) 
  • Ceremony 
  • Ring 
  • Kiss 
  • Congratulations
  • Cocktails
  • Speeches
  • Pictures
  • Dinner
  • Dance
  • Wedding cake
  • Chop, chop! 
Before we knew it, it was 2am, and our DJ had to turn off the music. 

Boom, it was over. 

This is what we prepared for? 


Arranged for flowers, fruit skewers, music, went to hair and makeup appointments, the works.

Instead what would be lovely to do is to extend the wedding party over the course of a year and arrange for a lot of get togethers with (groups) of friends individually, at locations that are scenic and while somewhat casual, serve great quality food. This would give us plenty of opportunity to connect with the people that are important to us. That way they'd also get the attention they deserve and they'd not just serve as dressed up extras.

I have a few ideas in mind, some favourite restaurants, and also some that are on the "special occasion bucket list" because they are a bit far away or blow the everyday budget - wouldn't they be perfect for this?

The other thing I would actually love to change for the above scenario is to cancel the fancy, white dress. I know, I know, I may be the only odd person out there who found no pleasure in picking out her outfit. At all. I wrote about it here.

I'd wear a classy business suit and add a playful scarf and purse for the town hall wedding, and then I'd be happy to jump into jeans and sneakers to celebrate with my friends!

The writing prompt was clear about the fact that we are talking about "back then". 

If I may just stretch it a bit, though, I'd like to alter update our guest list. While we are still good friends with most of our original guests, we have fallen out of touch with a few others, call it organic development. Instead I'd love to include some people who are involved in our lives today.

Actually, the individual celebrations would allow us to better focus on who's important to us anyway. 

Let's be honest, a big wedding always produces some pressure. Parents expect you to include their siblings and suggest you should invite your cousins, too. If you invite a bunch of friends from work, it'd be cruel not to include some that belong to the gang but you're otherwise not close. If you were part of a sports team, where do you draw the line? 

You get the picture.

Long story short, I'd like to keep it simple and more personal.

How does that sound to you, whether you had a (traditional) wedding or not? And would you marry the same person all over again? (I hope it's a rhetorical question!)

Let me know down below and don't forget to check out my fellow bloggers' posts.


  1. I'd do mine completely differently, there was so much trauma and drama about that day, but also like you, in hindsight, there are priorities now that I wish I'd had then.
    That last picture is my favorite, btw!

  2. It may have been schedule overload and too much but it looks like you had fun to me. I love the dress. In 30 years we gotten married 4 times, yes to each other LOL so he's pretty stuck with me. Each time was different and special in its own way. Maybe I should write a post about it all. Or write a Lifetime movie! LOL

  3. Great prompt - for me, I'm happy. Marriage #1 & #2 were both civil ceremonies, no family or friends. (Yeah, both ended in divorce.) #3 was perfection - minister, in our home, with close family & friends. My best friend made my dress, her dress and my daughter's dress and created all the silk flower bouquets. We got married on New Year's Eve so after the ceremony (and the minister left for 1st Night), we all changed clothes and partied. LOL! After almost 20 years, he passed and four years later I met my now husband. We got married in a double wedding (they are now divorced, we are on year #11) with the other couple in formal dress and us in khakis and Hawaiian shirts. All our friends and most family were there, but our participation was a surprise to most. We had originally planned to get married in Cabo but the smallest the timeshare would do was for 25 people. Nope! So our friends invited us to piggy back on their since all our friends would be there anyway. Perfect1

  4. We were married 28 years ago this month and we planned, paid for and I even cooked all of the food. The only bad thing was that my maid of honor and her boyfriend got into a huge fight and I had to bring her home with us! We also didn't go on a honeymoon until much, much later.

  5. I'd do it the same (we got married overlooking Lake Tahoe at a Vista Point) but I'd make sure that my family would be there. Our plans were up in the air as to exactly where and when so none of my family came. I also think I'd have liked dancing. We just went to lunch after the wedding and then everyone went their separate ways and gambled. Maybe we'll renew our vows in a few years at our 40th anniversary and have a big party!

    Janet’s Smiles

  6. does it count if I say I'd just scrap the whole thing and not do it all? haha. my son's dad abandoned him completely this week after he was asked why he feels he is treated differently at his dad and stepmom's house. He answered honestly, but the answer was "too much." And, I mean, he said things like "don't call me princess" and "i don't even have a toothbrush there" so we aren't talking about nit picky requests. I don't know what I ever saw in him to begin with anymore. I did get a good kid out of the whole thing, so that's going to have to be my silver lining.


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