Ultimate Blog Challenge - Moms, Dads & Society

Welcome back to the Ultimate Blog Challenge! Today's official prompt is to come up with a list  of things people can (or shouldn't) do.

OK. Here's a list of one thing, directed to no-one in particular and to society in general:

1. Don't piss us Moms off!

End of list.

Where did this come from? 

Today I got up to this story:

A Dad took his two sons to the grocery store, and fellow shoppers stopped him to tell him what a wonderful Dad he was. The boys are one and two years old, so granted, that's no walk in the park. The thing is, the Mom does this and more every day. Has anybody ever bothered to tell her she's doing a good job? Of course not.

I realize even I as a Mom am guilty of experiencing the awww, look at Dad grocery shopping with our son. I think I know why, though. It happens once in a blue moon. Still, I was moved enough to snap this picture somewhen last year.

I remember one particular Saturday before Mother's Day one year. I usually avoid going to the store on regular Saturdays because it's crawling with people. (For context: stores in Switzerland are closed on Sundays, so everybody must get everything done on Saturday.)

But Saturday in mid-May? It's not just a lot of people who have a general plan of what to do and where to go in the store. It's Dads with young kids. They will stand in your way. They will awkwardly cruise back and forth. They will discuss what Mom may like. They will not put toddlers in the seat but let them roam free. If the kids are a bit older, at least they will be able to navigate the aisles because they were well trained by you-know-who.

Do these Dads get eye rolls or reprimands from older ladies like most Moms do? 

Of course not, they will get nodded at, they will receive thumbs ups, and they will be smiled at.

I don't get it, or should I say I don't like it, and I am not even sure any self-respecting Dad does. 

It's a simple chore. Or at least it's supposed to be.

My own Dad hates crowded places way more than I do. However, once, when my Mom was out of town, he was forced to go to the store. He hadn't been there for so long that he was not aware that nowadays carts need to be unlocked by inserting a coin. 

Every shopping organization has doing this for many years now to make sure customers will not abandon their carts in the parking lot but bring them back. It works!

Plus the carts were moved to the outside area of the store, so once you're inside the store, the only carts you can see are the ones for the small kids. This was Colin at 15 months, proudly shopping with said toddler cart.

So that's what my grown Dad had to use. He held on to the flag pole while aimlessly wandering the store. It must have been hilarious to watch. He did good tough. He found something to eat. I don't think he needed much anyway. Every time my Mom goes away - to visit my brother and his family who live in Israel - he gets invited by family and friends. It's nice, and I'm happy for him, actually I also invite him over, on the other side, all these times when he was, let's say away for business, or on army duty for days and weeks at a time, did my Mom ever get invited by anybody?

I have another, similar story. This post is almost ten years old:

A Mom could not take her daughter to ballet one day. 

Her husband picked the little girl up from school, and they enjoyed a snack at Starbucks, wearing their normal clothes. Then they disappeared into the bathroom. When they emerged, the girl was wearing her tutu and had her hair in a chignon. People in the cafe clapped and complimented the man. 

Super Dad got his daughter ready for ballet. 

The Mom and all of her friends thought this was totally unfair, and I agree.

As a hockey mom, I have never been applauded for putting on and taking off my son's equipment in smelly dressing rooms.

Why is the willingness of society so great to praise men for the most ridiculous little things?

"He's such a great Dad, helping out around the house and with the kids", they say. 

Excuse me?

He's the Dad. 

It's his house, and it's his children just as well, no matter if he has an out of the house full time paid job. As have many working Moms, too. They are still expected to do the chores and carry the full mental load. 

Take the end of school year, for example. How many Dads do you see shopping for graduation clothes with their kids? What's their childrens' shoe size? Are Dads taking care of gifts for the teachers? Do they even know the teachers' names? 

Speaking of restaurant. After Colin's graduation we went out for dinner. Because we were a relatively large party of six adults and five teenagers, we had to order ahead, so they didn't bring the menu to our table. However they asked whether we wanted to have some wine. Sure thing! The waiter comes back, clutching the wine menu. Who does he hand it to? The one Dad who was wearing a tie! 

Why? 

It's probably a natural thing. The guy is a banker, and you can sort of tell by his suit. Does that make him a wine connoisseur? Maybe, maybe not.

Fact is, he looked at the menu, then he looked at us and was like "what do you guys like?" and we ended up ordering a Cabernet Sauvignon I suggested. As the waiter brought the wine to our table, do you want to guess, to whom he poured a bit of said wine for tasting purposes? 

So what's the conclusion? What should people do? Should they stop complimenting the Dads? Of course not. Compliments are great, support is awesome. Just give it to us Moms as well. Just so you know though "you have got your hands full" is not a compliment. 

Where the wine is concerned. Waiters, as you approach a table, just look around and ask "who would like to have.a look at the menu?" Simple as that.