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| Photo Credit: JÉSHOOTS on Pexels |
Today's writing prompt is Trouble Shoot it!
Coming across this innocent meme got me thinking: Is being flexible just like having a good sense of humor? Everybody thinks they have it, but in reality, they probably don't?
I was telling you about the new year's meeting my best friend and I were supposed to have two weeks ago. It failed due to a misunderstanding, or a lack of flexibility, or perhaps it was simply not important enough for anyone.
Since this wasn't the first time, it really makes me question the friendship. I feel I'm always the one taking the initiative. Then I'm usually the one offering to meet at my place. I'll clean up, I'll cook / bake, I'll have everything ready by the time we're supposed to meet. She'll arrive when she'll arrive, shrugging you know me, always running late.
It's getting old.
Same goes for not responding to texts for days. When we last spoke on the phone, she asked me to tell her when it'd suit me, considering Colin's game schedule. I sent her three dates. That was last Wednesday. One of the dates I suggested was Saturday. Today is Monday.
I get that she is a single Mom who works full time and has two teenage boys and a dog.
On the other hand, nobody is so busy they can't answer a simple text? Just saying "none of the dates work for me" or "let's do (insert date), gotta go, TTYL".
Have I simply not recognized the signs of the times?
We became friends right after we both gave birth to a baby boy in 2008. She's the younger sister of an elementary school friend of mine. We're both relatively old Moms, and we both resumed working part-time soon, so we had a lot in common, except time.
This didn't stop us from doing things together, usually with the kids, going to the playground or the animal park, birthday parties, Halloween, meeting Santa, you get the picture. As the boys grew older, we occasionally managed to go out just the two of us.
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| Photo Credit: Nataliya Vaitkevich on Pexels |
Occasionally became rarely, and maybe nature is just running its course, and the friendship is trickling out?
Our sons have been attending different schools for over three years now, so the events we regularly attended together, like youth festival, parent teacher meetings, sports day, and the like, disappeared, and with them the opportunities to see each other effortlessly.
I may overthinking this.
Your feedback is welcome.
Not sure I have any advice but I have experienced similar things. I don't have kids and it was incredible how quickly my new mom friends completely dropped me. I also have friends who work in roles where they completely control their schedule, I've actually had to take off work (I work a traditional Monday - Friday, 9-5 type job) in order to see them because they just wouldn't make time on a weekend. It almost seems like people just assume that their schedules/needs/difficulties...etc. are more important and/or are excuses for not getting back to someone timely or completely missing a commitment. I'm not sure what seems to be creating that shift in how people interact so just sending you virtual hugs
ReplyDeleteIt seems like maybe you need to rethink your friendship with this person. If she has such a busy schedule maybe you could suggest her to write everything down, especially important meetings and such. You sound like complete opposites and hope things can change for your sake.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to you. I have a friend, and he used to communicate with me regularly, but after he asked me to lend him some money that I was not able to do at that time because I was financially strapped, he suddenly stopped communicating with me up to this day.
ReplyDeleteI've outgrown friends as my kids have aged and developed separate interests. Maybe this is one of those friendships. If not, could you accept where they are in their life and stay in touch without setting yourself up for disappointment or aggravation. Especially if she isn't willing to meet you halfway. XO
ReplyDeleteTamara, I'm good at blessing and releasing them. Maybe too quick. If friends don't lift each others' hearts and share joy, is that friendship or a habit? If you ever schedule with her again, I suggest it take no effort on your part: meet at a Starbucks, saying you can stay until 4:30 or whatever. Then, if she does come late, leave at 4:30! I had a friend I went reggae dancing with. We would agree to meet at, say, 9 pm. I would go and hold the table, and maybe she came at 10. I couldn't abandon the table to get up and dance. When I reminded her she said 9 pm, she would say, "oh, you know it takes me forEVER to decide what to wear!" She was using me. I stopped seeing her. When she moved out of town, she didn't even tell me. And the end of that story opens energy for many more wonderful ones.
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